Fried Chicken Special: Chapter 1

David stood over the piping hot grill at the Howard Johnson’s Restaurant. Sweat traveled through his hair, over his forehead, and down his now baking, ruby-colored face. Greasy smoke bit his eyes, as he flipped yet another burger. He wiped his sleeve across his brow and looked up just in time to see Nancy’s smiling face. He looked down nervously at his grimy work shoes, embarrassed that he had been caught by her playful, garnet-colored eyes. The job was sometimes insufferable, but he sure loved her. He drifted off into his daydreaming world, imagining himself walking through mounds of hot-from-the-fryer french fries, just to be near her. The fact that she was now his girlfriend, made heart beat faster. Even though she told him that she looked horrible in that Howard Johnson’s, standard, orange and brown, waitress uniform, he adored the way her slender figure looked in the knee-length skirt and body-hugging top. He noticed her glancing over her shoulder at him as she took a customers order at the counter. He decided to show off, so he flipped a burger high into the air, catching it, in its bun, on the plate. He slid the plate onto the serving counter, and threw on some fries. “Order up!” he declared with pride. She giggled and grabbed the plate, winking at him as she walked the order to the waiting customer.

The door to the restaurant opened, as Elmer, an old farmer, strolled in. "Hey there Jake," he said to the manager. "Why don't ya order me up one of dem dere fried chicken dinners of yours. That there is the most popular chicken in all of Somerset County." "Oh yeah," said Jake. "Why's that?" "Whadda ya mean why's that?" "Who else do ya know serves a chicken breast with four legs around here?"

As David continued to daydream, his boss walked into the kitchen. “DAVID!” His boss shouted at him. Startled, he looked up from the grill. “Yes sir?” “David, can you explain to me just WHY the frozen chicken dinner bags have only the breast and no legs?” “What?” answered David, now looking somewhat confused. His boss began speaking again, but slower this time, a bit frustrated, and pronouncing each word carefully and precisely, as though he were speaking to a five-year-old. “I just heard from Elmer that you've been serving up chicken with four legs, so I went to the freezer to check it out and I found opened bags of frozen chicken breasts without the legs! What happened to my chicken legs David?” Focusing his attention on his boss, David slowly replied, “I...It...I thought it was their mistake sir.” “What are you talking about boy? Who's mistake?” “Well sir, I mean boss sir,” he stuttered, “I thought they messed up when they packaged those chickens. Every single bag of those frozen chicken dinners had only the breast and two legs. So, I've been taking two legs out of the other bags and frying them up so that the chickens had all four of their legs.” David noticed the eyes of his boss widen, as he continued to explain, “I didn’t want the customers to complain that we were stiffing them!" The face of his boss contorted as he threw his hands in the air and yelled, “you imbecile! Chickens don’t have four legs! They have two! Are you some kind of mo’ron? You live in cow-pie-heaven, farm country and you don’t even know that chickens have and always have had two legs? Lucky for you, your stupid mistake has been drawing in customers!" With that, he turned on his greasy heels, almost slipped, and walked back into the dining room.

By now, customers close by had overheard the commotion. Word spread quickly throughout the restaurant, and soon everyone was snickering and poking each other as they walked by the kitchen. David wanted to crawl under the sink. He was absolutely humiliated. Mostly, he was terrified to face Nancy. What must she think of him now? Charlie, a schoolmate, walked by and made clucking noises as he walked out of the diner. “Jerk!” David sarcastically murmured under his breath. “I’ll never live this down at school on Monday.”

After their shift had ended, Nancy walked out with David to his car. She placed her hand on his arm as he looked down, shuffling nervously. “It’s okay, you know?” she said sweetly. He looked up at her, and with tears in his eyes, he began to laugh. He laughed so hard that she started to giggling too. “I feel so stupid now. You must think I am as dumb as everyone says that I am. At least I didn’t get fired,“ he said. She half-smiled and gave him a little wink, “You are not stupid David. I mean, it is hard to imagine a four-legged chicken and all, but I know you, and you are not dumb. And not only did you not get fired, but you’re going to be busy man.” David looked at her curiously. “What do you mean?” “Well, you’re going to be cooking a lot of chicken. The boss decided to have a buy-one-get-one-free, chicken breast special. He said it would take weeks to get rid of all that chicken in the freezer.” David looked at her and started to chuckle. She teased, “but I think he needs a catchier name.” David took in a deep breath of the cold, night air. “Like what?” he said. “Well," she mused, "something like,‘David’s chicken without the legs special.’ It’ll be famous!” She began laughing again. "I don't know?" he questioned. "I don't think anything could be more uniquely famous than, 'Davie's four-legged chicken special,' Do you?" They both laughed about the episode all over again the entire ride home.

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